Breaking Bad

“I don’t watch television, but I hear Breaking Bad is very good.”  So goes a line from Toast of London (sixth most popular post on this blog, incidentally) that has stuck with me even more than shouting out “Ray bloody Purchase” whenever I feel like it.  For me, though, only half of it has ever been true.  I do watch TV.  In fact, I’ve watched enough to churn out 200 posts about 200 different programmes over the last few years.  But I have spent my recent life hearing that Breaking Bad is very good.  People have asked me over and over again if I have watched it and, until now, I’ve had to say no.  So, I thought, with the 200^th post spectacular coming up, what better boxset to go out on?  I sat through all five seasons on Netflix.  I had heard Breaking Bad is very good, but I didn’t like it all.

While I brace myself for onslaught of abuse this revelation will earn me, let’s go back to the beginning so I can justify myself in the order my thoughts occurred to me.  Years back, when Breaking Bad was all the rage, I pursued my characteristic route of ignoring whatever everyone else was focusing on.  Like The Sopranos and The Wire, I was determined to reach this big American boxset in my own time.  What’s more, its premise never really appealed.  I’ve talked previously about my lack of interest in drug dealing as a concept, though I have made numerous exceptions by covering shows about the business here, from Narcos to Top Boy.  But this was drug dealing, chemistry and cancer, polar opposites to my preferred themes of the apocalypse, zombies and high schools.

Bravely, though, a few months back I clicked play on episode one, series one, ignoring all the other things in my Netflix menu I would rather have been getting on with (including hipster haircut festival, The Last Kingdom).  In those early days, I was fully under the impression that I had, following many recommendations, finally uncovered the perfection others rave about.  The set-up, while unappealing on paper, was masterful in establishing tension and storylines.  For a while, I wondered if anyone would ever better it.  The grittiness, while still slightly Hollywood-esque in the Arizona sunshine, showed an unglamorous flipside to American life.  Here, Walter White struggles to make ends meet as an undervalued high school chemistry teacher (and part-time car wash attendant) while his heavily pregnant wife supplements their income with online auction sales of tat and their disabled son comes of age.  He’s about to find out it’s not so easy being diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Using his chemistry skills, he comes up with the idea of cooking crystal meth with a perfect recipe, making sure he’ll leave his family well provided for.  There’s a slight setback in that his brother-in-law is a DEA agent, but he’s not too sharp so we’ll save for that for a later series.

The drama is at its best when White, propelled by his expiring mortality, steps out of his family-man responsibilities into a world of dangerous risk-taking.  He takes on hardened criminals while driving a sensible car and calling home to apologise for being late for his tea.  He’s unhinged, unbridled and out of control, yet it’s all coming from a place of love – he just can’t tell his wife why he’s being suspicious.  The geek in me also enjoyed the science, while the marketeer appreciated the top-notch product he launches.  But, we must acknowledge Jesse Pinkman as the crucial key that connects his criminal and domestic lives.  This former student and current loser becomes White’s business partner.  Where White brings scientific knowledge and exceptional problem-solving, Pinkman brings chaos and incompetence.  His endless messing up irritated me more and more with each episode.  Occasionally, a spectacular twist would mean that their fractious relationship would be laid bare, with one needing the other before a reversal at a future fracas, but their main mode of operation was just white men shouting at each other.  It got tired.  Plus, Aaron Paul is a beloved voice from Bojack Horseman, so all I could ever hear during his whining was lovely asexual Todd.

Each season, our novice cook-dealers take on a different baddie to control the Phoenix meth trade.  Huge personal sacrifices oddly never fail to dissuade White from cooking again.  Their running of their business lurches from problem to problem, yet I just wanted to know more about Skylar or Walter Junior.  And if they weren’t around, I would find myself preoccupied by the inhabitants of the various crack dens where White would go looking for Pinkman.  The human cost of their drug baking only ever looms as a backdrop for their own dramas, with addicts given as much backstory as the walkers in The Walking Dead.  I can accept the customers are never the focus of Breaking Bad, but I can wonder if their development would have lent greater richness.  Pinkman’s addictions come and go and never really feel true.

Back to the brother-in-law.  Schrader begins as an uncouth bigot, beloved by his nephew, but a bit of a gaffman.  His out-of-dateness eventually elicits sympathy, even while he misses staggering clues about the origins of White’s prosperity.  I found myself rooting for him as he started to put two and two together.  But don’t worry about that cat-and-mouse situation concluding too quicky, as constant car crashes serve to derail things whenever convenient.  Thus, we go round in circles.  Everyone falls out, makes up, ends up in hospital, the cancers seems occasional, White’s reasons to cook become reasons never to do it again.  Everyone is unhappy, everyone is shouting, shocking violence interrupts arguments just before they burn out.  By this point, Breaking Bad had become a background show for me.  I didn’t care.  Episodes would play on while I cooked (lasagne rather than meth) or baked or cleaned.  I missed a key death while vacuuming.  Some instalments even have the highest IMDB ratings out there for single TV episodes, but I just wanted it all to be over.  I’m not really sure how it all ends, but I’m not arsed either.

And so, it’s with slight regret that Just One More Episode bows out after 200 posts on something that didn’t quite cut the mustard for me.  I’ll admit I might have felt biased given the hype it could never have lived up to, but it began well and I paid real attention.  However it was liberating to realise I hated it and it’s been enjoyable to dismiss it here.  Let’s get things in perspective: nobody cares what I think and I’m not looking to persuade fans.  A few friends I’ve mentioned my conclusion to have agreed they found the show overrated or admitted to failing to finish it.  Breaking Bad has had huge cultural influence and blazed the trail for the boxset to take centre stage in our hearts, with quality TV supplanting sloppy blockbusters.  I can appreciate it for what it is, but I’m glad it’s over.  You might feel the same way about this blog.  My evenings can now be spent indulging in newly discovered masterpieces like Babylon Berlin (watch this immediately) or looking forward to the return of trash like Elite and Love Island, but take comfort in the fact I won’t be banging on here anymore about my unasked-for opinions about them.

The Last Kingdom

If you’ve ever wondered what is England and why does it keep on happening, this show is not going to answer that question.  Fair enough, this might be something you wonder more and more these days as you cope with the news telling you how old English people insist on voting, but, at best, The Last Kingdom will mostly tell you how the ninth century kingdom of Wessex stood up as a Saxon stronghold against those pesky Vikings.  In short, and, inaccurately, Wessex gradually became England and thus the whole mess we find ourselves in.  Politics aside, regular readers of Just One More Episode (hello to both of you) will remember fondly my September 2017 post extolling the pleasures of Vikings (the TV show, not to be confused with the general concept of Scandinavian marauders).  That programme ended fully in recent times, leaving a Norse-shaped hole in my viewing habits.  Yes, I like zombies, yes, I like things set in high schools, yes, I like prisons, yes, I like reality trash, but I’m recognising here another theme to add to the boxes that any boxset needs to tick for me: Viking-Saxon conflict.

This dichotomy lies at the heart of our hero’s story.  Uhtred is the Saxon son of a Northumbrian Elderman, but he ends up kidnapped into slavery, serving a Viking family.  Through his wiles and charm, he is elevated from property to relation and grows up more Viking than Saxon.  But, as per the pilot episode, Uhtred’s about to find out it’s not so easy being a Saxon who identifies as Viking when Vikings come for your Viking family, with the help of Saxons.  In fact, it’s a fairly stop-start beginning to getting Uhtred where he needs to be, which is down south in the Kingdom of Wessex.  But don’t worry if you’re confused, as every episode begins with Uhtred narrating a recap of his adventures so far.  And fans of proper Viking things will appreciate his persistent Scandinavian accent.

You’ve guessed it, then, that Wessex is the last kingdom in The Last Kingdom to hold out against the Viking onslaught.  The Danes are everywhere grabbing land and laughing at priests.  Contrast their ferocity, then, to the enfeebled citizens of Wessex who are more preoccupied with praying than strategising to defend themselves.  In steps Uhtred, overcoming Alfred’s deep scepticism regarding his loyalties, bringing a laddish touch to business.  And let’s be honest, Uhtred is the cool one.  He has better hair than the Saxons, scoffs at their Christianity and gets to strut around in Viking clobber looking an absolute boss while they scurry about in meagre rags.  Men want to be him (or baptise him) and women want to be with him (despite the track record of his women faring well in the relationship).

I’ll confess to only just breaking into season two of four, having recetnly begun the show at a friend’s recommendation, but it’s the boxset I find myself looking forward to most of an evening.  Not being a savage, I do my best to ration episodes to one per night so that I can bask fully in the glory of Wessex.  Indeed, the geek in me loves how the subtitles announcing each location give us the city names at the time, adding to the overall perception of historical accuracy.  There’s no way of assessing this for real, though, but let’s just say it feels bob on.  My linguist boffin could do with some acknowledgement of the fact the Danes and Saxons all seem to speak the same language, but why let that get in the way of a good story?

But yes, it was the most violent of times, and blood is shed all over the muddy streets of Winchester and beyond.  However, we don’t seem to be allowed to swear.  There’s no effing and jeffing from Uhtred and his merry band and this doesn’t impose a problem until we come to anything sexual.  In place of the beloved F word, we have humping.  Somehow, this registers a bit pervier, but gradually becomes part of The Last Kingdom’s own mythology.  And we do see some quite graphic humping, bringing to mind the late-night Channel 5 films of yore, so I’m wondering if we’re claiming that a naughty word is more offensive that the action it describes.

All in all, though, it’s a yes please to The Last Kingdom.  It may have tempted you in your Netflix menu before now, but ended up rejected in favour of newer, more hyped-up fare, but sign yourself up for all four series if you fancy some wild storytelling peppered with religious fervour, ethnic conflict and a bit of a history lesson thrown in.  At least it can distract you from England today.

The Night Of

You might be wondering what I’m doing talking this week about something from 2016, but over the previous 197 posts I think we’ve established well enough there is no method to my madness.  The Night Of was one of the first boxsets recommended to me at the very beginning of this project, and it’s been lodged in my brain ever since.  It even got downloaded (by me, on purpose) to my Sky box at the start of the year when I finally decided that I must get down to following up on its recommendation.  But there it stayed, cruelly ignored while I worked through Fargo and a variety of other Netflix trappings (Call My Agent!, Last Chance U: Basketball).  But then, with Oscars season upon us, its star, Riz Ahmed, was everywhere.  I needed to see what all the fuss was about and conveniently had a slot in my viewing schedule.

I’m ruing the day I didn’t dive in as soon as this show was recommended to me.  Episode one immediately got its claws into me and I tingled with smugness at the thought of finding something to watch that was not going to disappoint.  There was intrigue from the first minute, all against a backdrop of the much-missed city of New York (what with foreign travel being an impossible offence while the sniffles keeps on going round the world).  Knowing something terrible is going to happen: there’s nothing more compelling than that.  From the moment Nasir (played by Ahmed with wide-eyed conviction) gets invited to a Manhattan party from his Pakistani enclave of Queens, the show’s very title makes it clear this isn’t just a pleasant evening in the city.

I’m not going to get into too many details, as these would all be spoilers, and I know for a fact you’ll be following my pleas to see for yourself this exquisite boxset.  Needless to say, there’s a certain amount of being led astray, of trying things for the first time and of cutting loose from a conservative upbringing while potentially ill-equipped to deal with its consequences that makes this fateful night all the more significant.  The tension then takes hold, with us as the viewer violently willing Nas to slip out of the precinct while awaiting processing for his initial misdemeanour.  Cleverly, we are left in doubt regarding his innocence as far as the evidence shows, but we are desperate for him to be cleared of all charges at almost any cost.

Along the way, every character that enters the universe of The Night Of comes with such depth and richness that we almost don’t notice Nas’s long absences while they work their way into our lives.  John Turturro’s John Stone oozes New Yorker, hardened and brash, and with no shits left to give about what anyone thinks of him or any of his skin conditions (at least, so his outer shell would have us believe).  I did wonder at the size of his out-of-home advertising budget as his Subway posters are everywhere, especially if he only charges $250 a case.  Nas’s parents do a huge amount with very little, dignity burning behind their eyes, while Detective Dennis Box earns our sympathy as he retires and Helen Weiss, the district attorney, even as she works against us, carries a certain charm.  The Wire’s Michael K. Williams haunts as Freddy, showing us everything that’s wrong with the American justice system.

That said, it was the cat that I got most excited about.  It just goes to show that great writing and great character development are lost on me when there’s a purring feline rolling about on the floor.  I felt I could have cured John Stone’s allergies simply by wishing them away.  So, from New York night life, the episodes progress to a taut court case.  At points, all seems lost.  At others, the characters’ behaviour aggravates both you as the viewer and their own sorry situations.  But we’re kept guessing till the end, fed some red herrings to keep us going and distracted by artful production design and cinematography from the fact this is (apparently) a rehash of a 2008 British show.  I don’t care where it came from, this gem was a great find, and maybe the story is more universal than as specifically New York as I had thought, but it’s elevated by so much else that it’s definitely one for the boxset list.

Fargo

“Whatcha got there, Margie?” seems like a strange choice for the most memorable line from the 1996 film, Fargo.  A lot of crime goes on in that story, all against the backdrop of the snowy Minnesota landscape, but it’s the charming local accents and the banal interest in what people are having for their meals that has stayed with me to this day.  That said, I only saw the film during my university years in the early 2000s, during a period in which I felt the best way to round out my terrible personality was to make sure I had seen all those classic films people talk about.  Back in the days of DVDs, Fargo was easily procured from a now-defunct online rental company, viewed on a laptop intended for academic support, and sat through with an attention span that now seems alien as these were also the days that predated smartphones and their irresistible whispers of distraction when you are trying to concentrate on absolutely anything at all.

Fast forward to 2014 and, a mere 18 years after the film’s release, a TV spin off emerges.  I’ve chosen the word spin off, as it really cheapens the programme, making it clear where the quality lies in this originator-progeny relationship.  Pah, I thought to myself, I shan’t ever be watching that.  But join me, if you will, in 2021.  More advanced in age, with greater maturity and self-assurance than my student self from decades before, I was no longer pursuing self-betterment through lists of must-see movies.  Oh no, I was looking at the IMDb list of top-rated television programmes.  And this is called growth.  There, at 38 (rankings may change over time) and with a score of 8.9/10, was the previously ignored Fargo TV series.  Well, this omission needed rectifying.  What kind of wildly successful TV blog would this be if, while having sat through the vast majority of top scorers (don’t worry, they’re all covered here, guys, from Rick & Morty to Our Planet) I allowed this oversight to continue?  And lo, thanks to Netflix, three quarters of my neglect has been rectified.

From my vantage point of having seen three of Fargo’s four seasons, I shall now offload all my thoughts and opinions for you to read.  Unfortunately the fourth series emerged while I was otherwise preoccupied and I haven’t been able to track it down on a platform, so we’ll just pretend we don’t care (though I truly do as it looks like a ripping period production with casting that finally offsets Fargo’s overwhelming whiteness).  But what I can say is that those first three outings of this boxset are cracking viewing to put in front of your face – how wrong I was about not expecting much from the TV version of a film.  What’s more, the stellar cast just goes to show how far TV has come in taking on cinema as the home of the big acting name or indeed of the quality production.

Each episode of Fargo is exquisitely crafted.  From the first frame, care and attention has been taken over every detail, as if all of it is a pilot that wants you to like it.  It’s how telly should be.  This is made all the more impressive by the fact that so much of it is shot in temperatures below freezing, as I can only imagine cameramen wanting to get out of the cold and therefore not really caring a toss.  I also like to think of everyone slipping over in the ice during the outtakes.  Not because I wish them ill, but because I am the sort of person that slips in ice, so I might as well assume it’s a universal quality.  One curious feature of our storytelling is that every instalment is preceded by a statement that the events are based on a true story, but that names have been changed to protect identities.  There’s no way of checking this as I simply cannot be bothered to type it into the internet, so again, we can just sit with it, wondering if we believe it, wondering if it matters, before moving on.

It’s pertinent, though, as the plots in Fargo are delightfully far-fetched.  To me, this is proof of veracity.  Honestly, you couldn’t make this stuff up.  Right?  Each series tracks over its ten episodes a wholly different storyline.  This means you’ll need to jettison an old cast and get to know a new one.  Gradually, hints of how these worlds and timelines connect are revealed, with series two’s seventies setting engendering an aftermath that plays back into the first series, which in turn has repercussions on the third.  May I one day know how this comes to bear on the fourth.

Playing out over the real towns of Minnesota and the Dakotas, our cast is often split into three camps.  We have heroes, often nice folk with above-average yet underappreciated ability in their jobs, normally law enforcement, who have to put up with the nonsense that swirls around them.  These are our Margies, carrying a torch of affection over from our original film.  Then we have our malcontents.  Their morals are often dubious, yet we can’t resist rooting for them.  They’ve faced hardship and come out stronger, but their drive and effort often lead to their own downfalls.  And then we have some great straight-up baddies, doling out evil willy nilly, creating the murderous rampages and bloodstains in the snow that are required to propel much of the plot forward.

I’d venture to describe Fargo as gently soothing, even though it’s awash in ultraviolence.  Somehow, the gruesome gore is easy to forgive, maybe because it’s framed in a higher art form.  We have a top-notch ratio of intrigue resolution to new curiosity establishment in each episode, as well as exemplary season finale crescendoing that resulted in my own patented viewing strategy: episodes nine and ten of each series had to be back-to-backed simply because I would get so excited (what a sad little life, Jane).  I typically only ever watch one instalment of a drama at a time so it doesn’t become wallpaper, but don’t worry if you have an alternative approach – it just means I am better than you.

So come all and feast upon this ensemble masterpiece.  You’ll revel at whatshisface off that film once and whoshername that used to be in thingy.  Not everyone masters the accent as successfully as others, and all the “oh yah”s and “ok then”s are a crucial part of our charm requirements, but each player has a great time with their character.  There’s bold storytelling as far as the eye can see, and dusting everything else in snow covers a variety of other flaws that I simply didn’t notice.  So take a trip via your screen of choice to this slice of the USA and treat yourself to some of the nicest murder stories ever known.

Top Of The Lake

 

There I was, the other day, struck by the thought that I hadn’t had Elisabeth Moss’s face in front of me on a big screen in a long time.  Mad Men was ages ago, and we are a while off another season of Handmaid’s Tale, though the memory of the excellence of series three is still a tingling sensation.  With recent government curbs on demonstration and their response to violence against women, we are another step closer to Gilead anyway, so we’ll all be blessing the fruit in no time.  Under his eye, indeed.  This brought me to click on Top Of The Lake on Netflix, a Moss-fronted drama that aired on the BBC back in 2013.  It looked rainy and gritty, promising some crimes perpetrated against a backdrop of luscious scenery and I felt safe in the knowledge I would have a strong performance from such a gifted actor in the lead role.

The first series is set in New Zealand, which is something I had somehow missed.  This isn’t Yorkshire (I was imagining Happy Valley vibes) but Lake Wakatipu at the bottom of South Island.  You can imagine my surprise, then, when Moss whips out a Kiwi accent.  It sounds decent to me, but from my perspective on the other side of the world, I realise I have no credibility to judge.  Moss plays Robin Griffin, returning to her home community from Sydney (which nicely covers an irregular vowel sounds anyway).  She’s in the police, sort of coming and going in a role to do with sexual assaults.  It’s hard to be sure if she’s on a working trip or not.  Her mum is unwell, but she almost ignores her to re-tread the paths of her own traumatic youth there, making it clear that she left for a very firm reason.  In a bit of a busman’s holiday, a local girl goes missing, and there are many suspicions of foul play, so Moss is in her element as the strong female and only capable police officer, dealing with an avalanche of male incompetence and insouciance as she tries to right the wrongs in her own community.

Before long, every character is a suspect, and this is because everyone is awful.  Unlikeable characters loom as large throughout as the spectacular scenery, but we are drawn in as Moss dashes in the drizzle from riddle to riddle.  There’s even a strange women’s commune set up beside the lake in shipping containers, riling some of the local populace but mostly sitting about drinking tea.  The climax gripped me with not only its gruesomeness, but its plausibility among a group of lakeside settlements who treat the most vulnerable in their society as expendable commodities.

Come 2017, the standalone conclusion is overturned as a second season appears.  The action has moved to Sydney, so our only point of continuity is Robin Griffin herself.  Still carrying the (additional) trauma of her previous lake-based experience, she now has new vulnerable girls to protect.  There are the South East Asian young women working in the licensed sex industry, branching out into further ways of selling their bodies.  There’s also the now-teenage daughter that Robin had given up for adoption.  She’s mixed up in these brothels, it turns out, rebelling against her adoptive parents (including a Nicole Kidman with little to do but have distracting hair) by pursuing a relationship with a vile German man who specialises in looking after stray cats better than he treats his sex workers.

Being strange throughout, Game Of Thrones’ Gwendoline Christie is our cop partner, clashing with Robin in various ways, while we sort of wobble through a sequence of events to our climax.  The unlikability of everyone far exceeds series one’s motley crew of characters, and this made it a bit of a slog to get through.  Everything was gross, but not quite grotesque enough to be a reason to be compelled.  I stuck with it for the sake of dear Elisabeth, covering for patchier performances.  On many an evening, clicking next episode felt like more of a duty than a treat, especially in a world of so much else to watch (bonjour, Lupin).

While this might not sound like the strongest recommendation, Top Of The Lake is still important viewing.  As a slagger-off of TV despite never having produced any, I should confess I am deep in the Introduction To Screenwriting term of a part-time Creative Writing MA I am doing.  I think we can all agree the quality of my prose needs professional help.  I also have a new-found respect for anyone who writes anything on telly.  A fellow course-member (on Teams of course – I have never met these people) pointed out to us that Top Of The Lake is a great example of a female story structure.  I think this is part of feminist literary theory, but our hero’s treatment within the show follows a different arc to what we see in the hegemonic male stories of our culture.  This is all a bit academic so let’s focus on the easy bits.  This is a strong female character, leading storylines that make us question how women are viewed and treated by our societies.  It’s not pretty, but it’s more relevant than ever.

Lupin (Lupin, Dans L’Ombre D’Arsène)

Due to a dreadful administrative error, it’s taken me until this 190^th post to include any boxsets in the French language within my ramblings here.  Désolé, everybody.  This has not been intentional.  Rest assured we’ve had plenty of Spanish (Money Heist and Elite), some German (Dark) and even some Korean (Kingdom) but I’ve been very remiss by omitting la Francophonie.  Most particularly, my guilt comes from my own possession of a French degree (or half of one, really).  There was a time I could pursue conversation with almost any citoyen, wielding the imperfect subjunctive and having at my disposal vast reams of memorised vocabulary in obscure areas (for some reason, I once knew all the garden birds).  I vowed I would never become one of those adults who lost the language skills of their degree, but here I am.  The truth is, I spent nine months in Germany for my university-mandated year abroad, but only nine days in France.  I haemorrhaged money in Paris during a summer heatwave trying to find a job/set up a whole life before I called it quits and brexited myself.  The oral part of my final French exam was abominable, so let’s acknowledge my trauma with the language before we go any further.

This did not stop me jumping on board the Lupin train in recent weeks.  Yeah it’s got subtitles, and yeah, even after twenty grand of student debt got paid off for that French degree, I still needed them to stand a chance of understanding a word of what was going on.  I’m of the ability where I can read the onscreen transcription really quickly and then compare it to the words the cast utter, using the text as a clue, and then making pointless comments to myself such as: hmm, that was an interesting approach to rendering that expression idiomatically in English.  Worse still, given the UK’s international pointlessness, we’re rendering things into American English.  But this is boring for everyone and doesn’t matter; Lupin is a great watch.  Just don’t destroy it by plumping for the dreadful dubbed versions that Netflix offers.

Our hero is actually Assane Diop, the son of a Senegalese man who came to France with big dreams.  Our star, therefore, is Omar Sy.  Not a household name in the UK, and I had only ever seen him in Jurassic World doing not much besides caressing a velociraptor while Chris Pratt pulled all the expressions.  I have a problem with watching that film over and over and Sy is consistently one of the most compelling parts, alongside my obsession with any storyline that involves things going wrong at a theme park.  Nevertheless, Lupin is the Omar Sy show and people of all linguistic bents should gather around and be drawn in.  You might be wondering where the Lupin bit comes in then.  Well, Arsène Lupin is actually the 1900s literary creation of Maurice Leblanc.  A bit like our Sherlock Holmes only with a different signature hat and a career on the other side of the law, Arsène Lupin’s gentlemanly thefts still inspire imaginations to this day, none more so than Diop’s.

In present-day Paris, Sy’s character enacts a thrilling series of heists under the noses of many a member of the snooty elite.  As a black man, he’s often able to exploit racial prejudice to his advantage, dressing as a cleaner in the opening episode and therefore becoming invisible to anyone with money.  At first, you might just think he’s a bit of a Jacques the lad with sticky fingers.  But no, this all ladders up to a life’s mission to avenge the death of his father.  Cue flashbacks to Diop’s youth.  His pa works for the high-net-worth Pellegrini family but they’re clearly bad news because the patriarch shouts a lot (proving money doesn’t buy happiness).  Finding himself in the care system, Diop’s only comfort becomes the gentleman thief and his stories, and thus a modern-day Lupin is born.

You’ve got Paris at its best and worst, some mixed-ability policemen on his trail (I believe these are what the French call “les incompétents”), the rich being dreadful towards the poor, racial injustice, family scenes where a super cool thief has to work hard to impress his teenage son, and enough French in which to bathe your ears that it’s like a GCSE listening exercise only you don’t have to write down any answers for the teacher to mark.  Sy immediately charms you into rooting for our hero, and the plot in both its episodic and series-long arcs picks up the pace and the jeopardy until you’re keen to race through with considerable vitesse.  Shame, then, that we only get five bits to kick us off with, but Netflix is following up with the next part soon and I, pour un, will be locked down in my flat ready to watch it and be inspired for my own ambitions to become a gentleman thief.  Ok then, maybe just a thief.

Grand Designs

I think we can all agree there are moments in life when you realise the way you feel about things has changed.  Never has this been truer than during the year we’ve just had.  The thought of running around London attending various meetings, squeezing on Tubes and touching everything, then staying out all evening shedding cash on food and drink with pals sounds quite frankly like a dream come true.  A year ago, I would much rather have been ensconced in my flat, dressed in slacks and watching trash on the big telly.  But after twelve months of that, I feel like a social butterfly ready to obliterate my chrysalis and say yes to doing anything, as long as it is outside of my flat.  I’ve even got myself vaccinated (childhood asthma on my GP records saw me texted early and taking the jab when offered seemed like the most straightforward path – if you don’t agree, I am happy to arrange to spit in your mouth in order to share immunity… pretty sure that’s how it works) and, in fact, leaving the house for that was a great day out.

In other changes, I never thought I would feel I wanted to watch Grand Designs.  Any programming about property was a huge turn off, mostly because I spent eleven years saving in order to own one of my, er, own.  During that time, I was at the mercy of the rentals market, from the highs of making new lifelong besties out of flatmates, to the lows of being asked to leave after six months by a woman who once took herself to A&E due to constipation.  The prospect of privileged boomers spending untold cash on their own gratification held no appeal.  But then, I finally got my own flat, and then it became my prison.  Sure, it’s filled very tastefully with an interior scheme that is half John Lewis, half too many houseplants and sure, it’s in zone two among all the things (that are shut), but, as the upstairs neighbours stamp and shriek literally while I type this (and who can blame them as they are stuck in too), I’ve been wondering about finding my way to more space, to something further away from other (stamping and shrieking) people.  And this led me to Grand Designs.  Maybe the time has come for some inspiration about my next house.

Let me just confess that, unlike most of shows these endless posts cover, I haven’t actually seen all of Grand Designs.  There’s nothing to stop me watching all 210 episodes, but all my rambling here is based on three full episodes from the latest series and then an array of snatched snippets when I’ve happened to catch a few moments of the programme over the last 21 years.  But I do know the format, and it’s exactly that which makes it a show you don’t really want to dip in and out of: it’s all set up, tease and big reveal.

First, we meet our grand designers.  They are wealthy.  Not to look at though, and often half the fun is wondering how Jerome and Valentina earned hundreds of thousands of pounds trading rare fur gilets in semirural Hertfordshire.  Either way, they’ve decided to abandon the rat race (or to move into a caravan when one of them is pregnant) and design and build their own house.  And they want us, the viewer, to watch them do it.  It’s the insta humble brag, but make it self-unaware.  Casting judgment on our behalf is Kevin McCloud.  His job is to be a man that knows about buildings and his opinions on them.  Jerome and Valentina tell him about their dreams and he tilts and manoeuvres his head to demonstrate that he is listening, giving the impression he can only process certain sounds if his ears are at certain corresponding angles.  Yet this doesn’t diminish his undeniable charm.  Even when he proceeds to be rude.  He tells them their dreams sound unrealistic.  Then he asks them how much.  It’s a great moment if your pastime is watching people with old money squirm, or people with new money froth at the chance to flash their cash.

Then we get an 3D CGI illustration of the plans.  This is the bit I always want more of.  We never find out more about the exact reasons behind each room.  We focus on one thing instead: it’s all about the light, the heating, the carbon neutrality.  Everything else is rushed past: and then here’s where all the bedrooms and bathrooms are but they haven’t got any floors or windows and there’s no time to explain.  And with that, off we go.  Handy dates on screen remind us that the show takes years to film and we settle into the portion about how they did the foundations.  This shouldn’t be interesting, but we’re all willing things to go wrong and they inevitably do.  Often, to save money, Jerome will pour his own concrete, despite wearing his helmet backwards, and it’s enjoyable to watch the workmen roll their eyes at him, his entitlement and his inexperience.  There’ll be drama that you can’t actually see: if the foundations crack then everything will be ruined and it will cost fifty grand.

The family waiting to move in are shivering in the drizzle under a tarpaulin round the back, but Jerome is standing proud not giving a fig while his vision becomes a reality.  Valentina waits until she can pick out the curtains.  We check in over the months, with Kevin sometimes popping along to tell them off for removing period features (if they are renovating an old building) or expressing disbelief that a heating system powered by Jerome and Valentina’s own sense of smugness will ever function properly (it bloody will).  You’ll marvel at Kevin’s outerwear – his whole house must be filled with sensible jackets.  Lots more stuff can go wrong and the schadenfreude is deeply satisfying.  The latest series has the added tension of us counting down until lockdown hits them, knowing what’s in store while they naively plan their progress.

Suddenly, though, we swing the windows into place (careful!) and everything is finished.  The rainy shell is gone.  We are looking at the actual home.  It’s behind schedule, but we go from pointing and laughing at the grand designers’ misfortune to seething envy that they get to live somewhere so cool.  I would observe that we see the “finished” item too soon after completion.  I want to see it two years later when the French windows are covered in the children’s greasy fingerprints and someone’s chipped the plasterwork with the vacuum cleaner.  Kevin marvels at the ingenuity, rinsing the thesaurus to find just the right words to sum up the achievement, before a final stab in the shape of asking how much it all cost then after all that.  Through clenched teeth, we’re told about the casual one hundred grand over budget that was spent, wondering where on earth this money came from (and what it went on).  How do you secure a loan from a bank when it’s to fund Valentina’s underground crystal craft cave?  Was it worth it that Jerome hand-tickled a million metro tiles to create an impractical kitchen?

You’re left feeling inspired, though.  If money were no object, which bits would you take to fashion your own dream abode?  Kevin admits they’ve triumphed and we kick ourselves that we don’t and never will earn enough.  I normally like to think about what else they could have spent the money on.  Being Brits of a certain age, most of them should probably have prioritised some orthodontics.  But what if they had scaled back the ambition just a touch?  What if a few hundred pounds were freed up?  What if Jerome, instead of gratifying himself with gold-plated bathtubs, got the silver-plated ones instead and funded a family’s broadband bill so they could alleviate disruption to disadvantaged children’s educations?  After all this, that’s the other thing we might be starting to feel differently about.

30 Rock

For the creators of amazing telly, it must be dispiriting to have their programme described as a background show.  Yet the concept is well worn, particularly when we are stuck at home all the time.  For me, the background show is ideally shorter than half an hour in length and, typically, a comedy.  It might seem like a fall from grace for something like Friends, going from must-see TV premiers in primetime to something we can put on for a bit of chatter to drown out our thoughts while our attention is half-taken by chopping up vegetables or watering the houseplants.  But, it’s either a new way of appreciating an old favourite, as my journey reacquainting myself with South Park proved in its unfolding, or a perfectly apt way of discovering a new show, as I did with Brooklyn Nine-Nine.  It’s even more impressive if a background show can make you laugh out loud, and this week’s subject, 30 Rock, certainly did that to me.

Interestingly, to nobody but me, 30 Rock straddled both of these categories.  I remember watching the first series in some former stage of my life, enjoying the fast pace of the gags on gags, the perpetual irrelevance and the abundance of very very silliness (hello to you, Miranda).  Nobody knows why, despite the best efforts of scholars, but I never got any further.  Cue 2020/1 and I’m working from home every day, trying to make lunch breaks a thing by popping on an episode of my current background show while treating myself to one of life’s few remaining comforts: food.  There, among all the Sky boxsets, was dear old 30 Rock.  Surely I could get through all seven seasons simply because I have nothing else to do, unless you count staring in the mirror and weeping.  I’m here to report that, yes, I really did achieve my goal of watching all of it.

Scant research, by me, has revealed that the concept of 30 Rock is loosely based around the writers’ room of famous American cultural thing Saturday Night Live.  We don’t get that in the UK.  Our live thing on Saturday night is Strictly Come Dancing and that doesn’t have a writers’ room because, like a lot of British telly, there aren’t actually enough writers to go round that every show can fill its own room with them.  I suppose it depends on the room, though, as we could just be talking about the downstairs cloak.  In short, SNL (for short) is a parody sketch show of that week’s events featuring a celebrity guest host and a retinue of regular cast.  Within 30 Rock, our version of this is The Girlie Show but, as each series unfolds, we see hardly any of it.  Half the joke is that it’s bad and unfunny, cobbled together at the last minute despite the ineptitude of its writers and producers, while the rest of the humour comes from the lives of the characters trying to make it happen in the first place.

Our hero is Liz Lemon, played by creator Tina Fey.  I’m doing things arse-backwards here as I’ve already banged on about my Tina love in a previous post on her later creation Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  Both shows have a lot in common, but one key difference is that Fey hardly appears in the latter.  Lemon, however, is our window into the TV sketch show production world, the only (relatively) normal and capable NBC employee trying to wrestle everyone else along to something approaching acceptable behaviour.  You’ll come to love her as much as you’ll love seeing her abused by co-workers, friends and family, often via flashbacks to her dweeby childhood and teenage years.  She’s all of us in later decades when we can’t be bothered to go out at night anymore (something I regret terribly now we’re not allowed to go out at all).

The pilot sets up her main foil, network executive Jack Donaghy.  Alec Baldwin has the time of his life as this right-wing conservative, sending up a variety of attitudes with charming affection and building over the series with Liz Lemon an almost perfectly symbiotic relationship.  Lemon, too, is thwarted by her cast.  Donaghy forces upon her Tracy Jordan, played by Tracy Morgan.  She must effectively parent this manchild and his entourage while keeping happy her best friend, Jenna Maroney, TGS’s original star whose nose is well and truly put out of joint by the arrival of Jordan.  At all times, Jane Krakowski’s performance is my favourite thing, as Maroney’s fame-hungry desperation, delusional attitude to ageing and uncompromising need for attention mark her out as a true kindred spirit, although I can’t sing and she can’t stop blurting out tunes at the slightest provocation.  The wider cast sets up constant jokes at the expense of various strata of American society, and then this is fleshed out to great effect by a steady stream of guest stars, from Mad Men’s Jon Hamm to Bojack Horseman’s Will Arnett.  I’m reserving special mentions for Rachel Dratch in various scene-stealing roles and for the character of Leo Spaceman, the world’s worst and therefore funniest medical professional.

And that’s the main conclusion to leave you with – this stuff is funny.  Some elements haven’t aged too well from 30 Rock’s 2006 beginnings, but we’ve had many intervening years to improve our society and so any reaction to bad taste simply shows you how far we’ve come.  The characters are strong, ridiculous and don’t even come close to running out of mileage.  The action is relentless and there’s never more than ten seconds without some sort of gag.  With even just half an eye on it while you move your mouse around on your laptop so it looks like you’re actively working from home, it can still guarantee you laughs.  So this still remains amazing telly, no matter what attention you’re paying it.

Bridgerton

I don’t know how they do it, but Netflix always seem to know just what we need.  It’s Christmas Day 2020.  Everyone is coming to terms with substantial compromises to their celebrations, potentially stranded far from home by following the whiplashing advice from the old boys’ club running our government.  The weather is crap, the year is being wished over, and little do we know, the next one is going to be getting off to the most underwhelming of starts.  And pow, Netflix drops the most optimised dollop of delicious escapism right in front of our eyeballs.  That’s right, this week we’re doing Bridgerton.

Regular readers won’t be surprised to know that I was very late to this party.  Spirited away to my parents’ just before London was turned into an inescapable fortress, their loyalty to live TV had driven me away into my Louis Theroux documentaries.  Returning to my home and work (which have now been the same place for nearly a year – I can’t confirm if I will ever wear underpants again), everyone was talking about one thing: Bridgerton.  I resisted its call.  I didn’t need to follow the herd.  I was deep in other series (wondering if The Sopranos would ever end).  Its mania would pass.  But then, instead, it snowballed.  Every other Guardian article (I ignore all other news – no surprises there) was about its music or its fashion.  It was revealed as the most watched Netflix production.  My interest was piqued.  Then everyone chuckled at the explicit sexual content and, lo and behold, I was sold.

The eight episodes are based on the first in a series of novels that follow the fictional Bridgerton family.  Named alphabetically, they’re an A to Z (well, an Anthony to Hyacinth) of upper-class London society in 1813.  We’re with them for a social season, from the young ladies’ debuts through weeks and weeks of balls balls balls until a final climax that sees all the lords and such retire back to their country piles.  Here’s the first reason Bridgerton’s timing are spot on: all these well-attended events are spectacles we can only dream of.  Right now, a good day out is a mask-clad whiz round the supermarket.  A lavish night of dancing and drinking, dressed up to the nines, is as alien to us as most of the social conventions of nineteenth-century Britain, but it is so richly and colourfully brought to life on screen that it has the power to fill that part of our lives that is so sorely lacking.  There’s even a nod to our present day, with the string quartets treating us to classical interpretations of modern pop songs.

While we’re at it, the costumes are a second well-tuned route for vicarious living.  Most of us are now set in our leisurewear (please see earlier comment about underpants), but the lords and ladies of Bridgerton are never out of excuses to push the sartorial boat out.  Even the discomfort of very tight breeches or having your cleavage shoved up beyond your clavicle offers a welcome break to shuffling about our homes in slippers and hoodies, with the exception of the Featheringtons’ sickly colour palette.

Thirdly, the show is on the pulse of our enthusiasm for diversity, putting black Georgians front and centre.  No need to explain, no indulgence of anyone feeling threatened; it’s just a great time.  Any protest with reference to historical accuracy is farcical, and probably from the same people who wanted The Crown accompanied by trigger warnings.  Some people simply don’t deserve content this entertaining.

But lastly, it is just the story for the moment.  In a foreign world of ladies’ reputations, archaic courtship and primogeniture, there is a welcome frivolity to the various love stories.  Bosoms heave, sideburns protrude, and eyes are made across the ballroom, and we’re unable to resist caring about girls making a good match and marrying for love.  Some jeopardy is clunkily contrived, with Anthony Bridgerton (Jonathan Bailey – a key player from W1A and Crashing) going from key barrier to his sister’s happiness to someone without quite enough to do, and the endless speculation regarding the real identity of Lady Whistledown (Gossip Girl gone Georgian) lacking compelling consequence.  But once the love making starts, we’re miles away from the grit and realism of something like Normal People and drinking in every romantic thrust of some good old-fashioned shagging.  You don’t get that in Downton Abbey.  Yet the shenanigans don’t feel gratuitous – they’re just another layer of fun in all the stories.  More remarkable is the sheer size of the cast, with every peripheral player committing wholeheartedly from the start, gradually coming forward as fully formed characters as the episodes progress.

Sure, the script could have done with one more proof-read to tighten the lines beyond the point of simply aping how people probably spoke in the olden days, and maybe some of the cast are guilty of doing theatre acting with their shouting and enunciating, but there’s little to fault with Bridgerton if you’re looking for a hearty romp.  I would even go as far to prescribe this as self-care at a time when reasons to be cheerful may appear to be lacking.  Switch off the 5pm briefing when we get put into surprise tier 22 and take yourself off to the world created by Julia Quinn and realised by Shonda Rhimes (How To Get Away With Murder, among many other things).  It’s a treat we all deserve, and it’s come at just the right time.