Right then, EVERYBODY, here come some big ones. I haven’t put myself under this much pressure
since I took on Love Island. But don’t
worry. I’ve every confidence this will
be another amazing post. When I first started
Just One More Episode, Game Of Thrones
was at the heart of my plans for the kinds of boxsets I wanted to be talking
about (but have ended up with posts on Naked
Attraction and Keeping Up With The Kardashians
instead…) But why has it taken 131 posts
to reach this momentous occasion? Well, I
had planned to cover this show in the run up to its eighth and final season,
but a cruel twist of fate saw me in a household without access to Sky Atlantic,
dashing my carefully lain plans to review all prior series in preparation for
this final swansong (as I had done for the two previous instalments – this is
already too much fanboying). But the
panic is over. I am now the proprietor
of my very own Sky contract. I’ve
alluded already (Chernobyl) to the fact
that this pivotal saga didn’t figure among the available boxsets when I first
sat down with my new Sky Q remote and box, but suddenly it’s back on
there! And how did I find this out? An advert in a podcast (Teenage Mixtape) voiced by
none other than Sean Bean
himself (that has since been served to me 500 more times and that I now can’t skip
fast enough). So, no more putting up
with ersatz-Thrones (I’m looking at you, The Witcher), I’ve been back to
Westeros (again) and I’m bloody loving it.
Before we begin, though, let me explain two key rule breaks
with my approach. Firstly, we’re going
to split things up by series. Normally,
once I’ve “done” a programme, I move on.
It’s over. No returnsies. The only way I’ll ever go back to it is if it
adds a colon and some more words (like Narcos:
Mexico) by which action it definitively becomes a new show. But this programme is more than that. For a while, it was a global cultural phenomenon,
with episodes commanding feature film budgets.
It’s the ur-boxset, the originator from which our new norms of staying
in and watching episodes eclipsed any desire to brave it out into the rain and
sit among a variety of coughs and illuminated smartphone screens in the cinema
or, heaven forbid, actually talk to people.
Secondly, I’m alerting you to spoilers.
Typically, I take pains not to reveal any twists or unexpected plot
progressions that can’t be gleaned from a marketing trailer. But, with this show, if you haven’t seen it
yet then you simply need to get off my blog right now. This post ruining a Game Of Thrones twist is
the least of your worries.
So how did you discover Game Of Thrones? This is the question nobody is asking me, but
I’ll have you all know I was early to this party. I remember some tube posters across the
tracks of the Northern Line featuring an array of moodily-lit and characterful
faces. It didn’t say much about the show
or emphasise its fantasy roots too heavily, but something piqued my interest
and I remember adding the first series to my Lovefilm account, with the DVDs
arriving soon after (I told you this was a long time ago – that sentence is definitively
historical memoir). Sure, the rest of
the world caught up and jumped on the bandwagon, but my first moments in Westeros
still feel as if they were only yesterday.
Like the books, which I later devoured, each series’ opening scene
features only peripheral (short-lived) characters, setting up some dramatic
tension before those famous credits roll.
Series one’s prelude foreshadows the coming threat of the White Walkers,
but keeps the northern bogeyman obscured in enough mystery that their plausibility
is easily bought. And that’s the beauty
of this first foray into Thrones, the fantastical elements are only gradually
revealed to us in such a way that we accept them as reality.
The key example of this are the dragons that finally emerge
from the Essos ashes around poor old Daenerys’s (almost constantly) naked
body. At first, they are just some
calcified eggs, and characters only speak of them as legends that died out
hundreds of years beforehand. Seems
legit, right? Only carefully is their
being escalated into the fire-breathing beasts of the later series, with no
serious viewer dismissing them as excessive as the show has thoughtfully
prepped us for their coming glory. But
no, it’s not just the dungeons and dragons that draw us in. Game Of Thrones has one of the richest
settings ever attempted in TV. Again,
the books provide plenty here as a source material, but I commend the first
episode and its offspring in introducing us to a world that’s totally made up yet
easily believable. The Seven Kingdoms
are rich in history and folklore, dogged by opposing religious rites and
ineffective government, riddled by rivalries and grudges among the nobility and
regions. It’s the inspiration for Brexit
Britain. The only question mark I have
is related to the fact that there doesn’t seem to have been a single technological
or societal advance in thousands of years – it’s made clear that people have
lived this way for a long time. But I
can forgive this as the complexity is still delicious enough to fuel eight
series of epic drama.
So cast your minds back to how that first episode drew you
into a world where there were so many truths to establish before we could even
progress to storyline. Quickly, the
viewer progresses from “Who are these serious-looking people shrouded in fur?”
to “Ah yes, it seems an uneasy truce has descended on the lands and brought
peace yet is about to bust apart at the seams.”
It’s artfully done. For me, I
lost all doubt as the Stark children stumbled across their direwolf pups. I was in.
Sure, some initial lines from certain cast members carry a slight hesitance
due to their pomposity, but that all passes quickly, and things get going
without delay.
On that note, I should probably allude to the main thrust of
season one: what actually happens. Well,
I’ve been thinking that it could otherwise be known as Ned Stark Investigates:
The King’s Landing Mysteries. But it’s
more than murder mystery. Thrones’ beauty
is in its layers. We have the present
actions where Ned is strong-armed into leaving most of his family to take up a
position of Hand Of The King to King Robert.
However, before that, and before even episode one, we go back a layer in
time to the circumstances of Jon Arryn’s murder as a result of uncovering the
truth about the supposed Baratheon line of succession. Beyond that, yet another layer exists that
binds the myriad characters (numerous as they are): the teaming up of the
Westerosi houses against the Mad King, resulting in the overthrowing and end of
the Targaryen dynasty. The interplay
between these layers of time propel every scene from “Oh look there might be a
dragon” to politicking, intrigue and an impending sense of doom. And this is all without mentioning the
critical layer of peril present at all times: the coming White Walker trouble
beyond the wall. Filter this all through
several theatres of action, factor in the geographically distant yet essential narrative
of Daenerys and Viserys in Essos, multiply by a thousand, and you can only
conclude that Game Of Thrones owes its success to crediting the viewer with the
ability to cope with a lot of information.
Language, too, plays a part.
Each character has a nickname which, rather than complicating things,
somehow makes them easier to remember, from Jaime Lannister’s Kingslayer to Petyr
Baelish’s Littlefinger. Each house also
has its own mantra that easily slips into common parlance. As a result, we all know winter is
coming. But a further stickiness comes
from two other areas: gratuitous sex and relentless gore. All the highbrow political debate is one
thing, but at any moment a tavern whore might flash her downstairs, or the
pointy end of a sword might suddenly protrude from someone’s eyeball. It’s another layer of jeopardy among an
embarrassing excess. But it leads to one
of Thrones’ most credible points: nobody is safe. Big name actors like Jason Momoa and Sean Bean
fail to survive to the end of the series, setting into motion a trend that
heightens further the already great stakes at play. Thus, we start to see how this became the
biggest show in the world, but let’s conclude on some gentle trolling below.
Best newcomer
Slightly redundant here as everyone is new, but let’s take a
moment to acknowledge the rise and fall of Khal Drogo here. Never one to miss chest day at the gym (or wear
a top), Drogo has mastered the smoky eye off a YouTube tutorial but continues to
struggle with basic Common Tongue (English).
He prefers to mount his women from behind, but it’s actually strangely
touching when Daenerys finally tames him sexually. Sadly, his immune system fails to protect him
from a rusty axe blade, but not before he spectacularly kills Viserys by
pouring molten gold on him just when he’s at his most annoying. We’ve all dreamt of doing this to a
colleague, which is why smelting is not allowed in offices.
Most valuable character
Playing beyond her status here, I’m going to go for Mirri
Maz Duur. Not one to let a bad hair day
stop her in any endeavour, Mirri is a crucial catalyst who sets Daenerys off on
her path to emergence as a great leader.
From her wonderful accent, to her cheery screams as she is burned alive,
Mirri can take a bow for life-coaching the Mother Of Dragons to be the best
that she can be.
Best death/jaw-dropper moment
Back in Westeros, it has to be Ned Stark’s head rolling around
on the floor that counts as one of the most shocking moments in episode nine,
nay, the whole series. Every pointer
leads us to believe he has done enough to save himself, despite our regret that
he seems prepared to compromise his morals to survive, but Joffrey’s bloodlust
wins out and the seeds are sown for shit to kick off for seven further seasons.
Still waiting to see this.
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