Sunday, 6 October 2019

Strictly Come Dancing


Dah da-dah dah dah dah daaaah, dah da-dah dah dah.  That music can only mean one thing: summer is well and truly over and we are now counting down the weeks till Christmas.  How do we know this?  By the return of Strictly Come Dancing season, of course.  Regular readers might think this primetime piece of the BBC1 Saturday and Sunday night schedule is a bit broad for the acerbic sideswipes of Just One More Episode.  But you can’t beat a bit of wholesome teatime family entertainment.  There’s enough terrible awful out there in the world that sometimes distracting yourself with concern about the quality of a faded soapstar’s Paso Doble can be just what the doctor ordered.


I was snootily dismissive of the show when it first appeared in 2004.  It seemed like a Daily Mail-esque attempt to bring back a long-gone former era by rebooting pensioners’ favourite Come Dancing, though the update came from the slapping on of the slightly lost adjective Strictly (presumably in an attempt to bring to mind the sexy intensity of Baz Luhrmann’s Strictly Ballroom).  Either way, the name doesn’t make any grammatical sense.  You can’t tell someone to carry out an action in a strict way: strictly wash your hands, strictly put your trousers back on etc.  But this is just the first quality of many that makes the show so magical: it is fully departed from reality.

The concept is simple: a handful of celebrities learn to ballroom dance by being partnered up with world champion professionals.  Each week, they present a dance before a panel of judges, whose scores are combined with a public vote to determine weekly eliminations until an overall winner is left to lift the Glitterball Trophy.  Whereas most celeb shows have come with a sense of shame and desperation (from Celebrity Big Brother to the early days of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here), Strictly Come Dancing has always kept an aspirational quality simply because it looks so much fun and wins the heart of every participant.


And did someone say Sir Bruce Forsyth?  Probably not, but his presenting role for the show’s first ten years became part of its essential charm – you couldn’t help but enjoy his rambling links while at the same time slightly wishing they were over.  Sadly, Brucey’s last Tango was in 2017 (RIP), but the addition of Claudia Winkleman since 2014 has multiplied the joy the show brings, proving true the revolutionary theory that two women (she and Tess Daly) can present a primetime show without any need of an older gentleman.  Winkleman’s wizardry originates in her fringe, which she peers through while frequently rendering speechless the dancers around her with her quick(step) wit.  I love her.


But let’s be honest: everyone involved in this show must be wonderful.  Its production ambition is now so huge that I can only guess at the size of the various teams: wardrobe, hair, make-up, props, not to mention the band and singers who will literally take on anything, week in, week out.  I have particular affection for the judges.  Sadly, dear Len Goodman (seven!) is no longer pickling his walnuts having retired in 2016, but Shirley Ballas has proved a replacement to be reckoned with as Head Judge.  I always enjoyed Darcey Bussell, but am thrilled to see Motsi Mabuse storming onto the scene.  An older woman of colour in a role of authority on primetime TV shouldn’t need a comment in 2019, but it feels fitting to celebrate her appointment.  Meanwhile, whatever the significance to diversity, you’ve still got Bruno Tonioli’s elastic turns of expression being delivered with such energy he regularly slips off his chair, alongside Craig Revel Horwood’s deeply unimpressed face.  As each lifts their scoring paddle at the end of a dance, you realise numbers have never been so exciting.  Or glittery.


I often sit there wondering how I can possibly get on the show.  Normally, through work contacts, I can get tickets to my favourite telly, having bothered The X Factor live shows many a time over the years.  But as a BBC production, the doors are shuttered to my advertising dollars.  My only hope (and current career plan) therefore is to get a minor part in a soap opera.  My acting is hammy enough and I am open minded about onscreen nudity in case there are any late-night specials.  I’m not fussy about the story arc: a murder, or some other terrible crime perhaps.  It just needs to be enough to get me at the top of that staircase one Saturday evening, dressed in skin-tight trews, Cuban heels and a garish shirt barely buttoned to the naval, announced by Alan Dedicoat with some sort of creative play on my occupation (failed blogger and serial boxset consumer?), with an East European professional lady clasped at my side.  I reckon I could at least make it to Blackpool.


And that’s the glorious thing: how Strictly punctuates the road to the end of the year: movie week, Halloween, the first Argentine Tango, Blackpool, the final and into the Christmas special.  And the years have been punctuated by the professional dancers’ welcome place in the lists of what we call household names (went a bit Miranda there, didn’t I?).  You can hear the housewives frothing over their beloved Kevin Clifton, while Anton du Beke (the only one to make all 17 series) has mastered the withering comment after years of being saddled with an array of no hopers.  Janette Manrara is always the one to watch in the spectacular group performances while Karen Hauer and Aljaž Skorjanec compete for the world’s biggest smile.  They are all great and it’s easy to see how deeply they care about getting through to each next week.


The final element I’ll go on about is the celebrities themselves.  At some point in the future, everyone who’s ever been well known in the UK will have taken part, leading to my parents’ favourite question to ask about anyone famous: “What were they in last?”  The quality has been mixed, from the most appalling performances that make you wonder if that person can even clap in time to a beat, let alone perform a Foxtrot.  Then, there are the average ones, and both this and the former category can be fast-forwarded if you’re watching on catch up.  Sure, every minute of the show can be enjoyed, but once you compare the top scorers, there really is no competition.  So here is a rundown of a handful of the best dances ever (that I can currently remember):

Jay McGuiness and Aliona Vilani’s Jive, 2015

It was week three (movie week) and the pair’s Pulp Fiction-themed performance began softly but took us all by surprise as it escalated and escalated to breath-taking heights of cool fleet-footedness.  The audience’s cheers made it clear that they couldn’t believe it.  Nobody was expecting this from a chap off The Wanted and it became an absolute best in class.  The nods to the film were as perfect as the execution.

Danny Mac and Oti Mabuse’s Samba, 2016

Never an easy dance for the celebrity males, Mac embraced every element of the discipline, looking as comfortable in hold with Mabuse as he did shaking his hips liberally while out of it on the floor.

Alesha Dixon and Matthew Cutler’s Cha Cha Cha, 2007

Any of Dixon’s dances could be in here, but this one really played to her strengths.  Full of attack (a Darcey-ism) yet playful in nature, this dance elevated 2007 as a watershed year in the show when the celebrities really had to be exceptionally good to triumph, not just a bit good.

Caroline Flack and Pasha Kovalev’s Charleston, 2014

She of Love Island was a worthy Strictly winner, totally nailing this comedic routine with perfect form and smiling throughout while Pasha tossed her hither and thither.


Alexandra Burke and Gorka Márquez’s Jive, 2017

Elevating things again with perfect flicks throughout, Burke jives the bejesus out of Proud Mary and the crowd goes wild.

Aston Merrygold and Janette Manrara’s Cha Cha Cha, 2017         

Merrygold’s early exit from this series was one of history’s greatest miscarriages of justice and I still don’t know how it was allowed to happen.  In this dance, he still looks cool, despite being dressed as a blue troll, and proves beyond doubt why he and Janette should have gone on to the final.  Guaranteed smiles.

There are too many to mention, but let’s just take a moment to think about Lisa Riley’s Samba at Blackpool ending in the splits.  Yes.  I’m surprised more couples don’t forget their steps, though upsets can and do occur.  Perhaps the most distressing moment for anyone taking part is the Rumba, which surely needs to be cast out after so many years of stiff-hipped sportsmen making a mockery of it.  Nevertheless, Strictly remains some of the best fun you can have on TV.  And the ratings!  While X Factor fades from its peak, its BBC rival still easily draws ten million viewers.  No sob stories, no nastiness for the sake of it: just the pursuit of an artform that is potentially one of humankind’s greatest contributions to itself.  Maybe if life contained more dancing, there would be less Brexit.  The scores are in: TEN!



No comments:

Post a Comment